Bliggity Blog by Ingrid Michaelson

bessblog: During our down time, Ingrid and I have been working...

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 23:39:00 -0400

During our down time, Ingrid and I have been working on a very special short film. It means a lot to us.. we hope you enjoy.

F@CK TUMBLARITY

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 18:14:55 -0400

makes me feel small and sad and unimportant.

Number one at itunes? Holy Smokes.

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 03:14:00 -0400

yesterday my self released album (under my own label, Cabin 24), EVERYBODY reached number one on the itunes charts. i can not believe it.

thank you to Original Signal and Universal Motown, the labels that distribute and market my album.

thank you to my bandmates (allie, chris, bess, elliot and dan (also producer)) for making my music breath and live.

thank you to everyone who bought, tweeted, blogged, plogged and smogged.

thank you to anyone who posted my neato widget (which you can find on my myspace).

thank you to all the radio stations spinning MAYBE and to all the people calling and requesting it.

thank you to my friends and family and management and web people and art people and everyone who supports me for just being plain rad ladies and gents.

thank you. i am a lucky human. beyond lucky.
xim

This Kid Hates Koalas...

Sun, 02 Aug 2009 15:38:00 -0400

I don't know if this is real or fake, but it makes me laugh a lot.

A friend showed me this a couple of years ago.

I thought I would share with you.

Enjoy.

xim

This essay was written by an 8th grader in Pittsburgh in the spring of
2004. The assignment was to pick an enangered species, and explain why
it's important to save it. The typos and formatting are preserved from
the original.

	    Richard XXXXXXXX Draft 2

        I shouldn't do shit. I don't care about them they all
could die and it won't affect my life. I know a lot about them
but I don't need to think about them. They're just a waste of
time koalas are stupid they don't help me with shit so why
should I help them. If they all die there will be more room for
the panthers and all the other hard animals. Koalas are weak a
pit will get rid of their whole fucking family. That's why I
don't like koalas.
      Koalas have sharp claws but they are weak. They all small
and fat and they be climing trees. I hope a storm just come
while theyjust chilling up in the tree thinking they is hard and
they're will all just fall off. They just break they neck and
shit. When they fall they claws are going to fall off and they
going to be crying like some little bitches.
      Koalas aren't hard they some little bitches. They start
climbing up the tree soon as they see a deer from like 50feet
away. They stupid as hell they should put their brain in their
pouch and put the kid in they ten they're be able to think
better. They try to be in the fucking kangaroo family. They weak
as hell, talking bout they got a pouch a kangaroo so they their
cousins and shit. Kangaroo's have some big ass legs and whot do
a koala got? Some little ass legs, they tails is little and weak
as fuck kangaroo's got a big ass long tail that can kill a
fucking koala.
        If a koala goes in the water it won't be able to breathe
with its little short ass. It'd fucking drown soon aas it take
one step into the water. While they at the river trying to get
something to drink a bear could just come to him and snatch its
ass up. It doesn't know protection because they don't have
protection. What they little ass going to do? It can't scratch
him. The bear will beat his fucking ass.
     The important think about koalas is that just don't care
about tem and let them die by all the other animals in
Australia. They're not important just let nature do what it do
and kill them. Koalas do not have a place in this world there's
not enough room for all the bitches in this world. So let all
the koalas that's in the zoos and shit. Let them go and put them
back with their family. If you let them all go they won't
nothing except for that's what they was put in this world for.
        Now you know why koalas aren't important. They have
nothing to do except for sitting around in the trees. It's like
they just was like they was sent have to die. Koalas don't do
nothing to help anybody. Thre would be just one more relative of
the kangaroo that will be six feet under. Now you know why
koalas are not important because there are dumb.

Keep Me Close a truly happy song? yes. amazing. I have found a...

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 02:53:00 -0400

Keep Me Close

a truly happy song? yes. amazing.

I have found a space inside somebody else / I have found a space in you / Where i feel so safe from everybody else / Keep me close, keep me close, keep me close / Take my hand, my heart, and lead me to the time / where we all can start again / Take me far away from everybody else / and I’ll keep you close, keep you close, keep you close.

This Is For The Ladies aka too much time on my hands aka garage...

Fri, 17 Jul 2009 16:54:00 -0400

This Is For The Ladies aka too much time on my hands aka garage band has some funny loops.

PS YES IT IS A JOKE (for all who have asked……)

LYRICS- “This is for the ladies” (over and over again) “It’s called, it’s called a bra.”

"Maybe" available for download and TOUR DATES posted

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 18:25:00 -0400

Greetings fellow humans,

it is my pleasure to announce to you that my new single, “Maybe”, is available on itunes as we speak. it is just sitting there waiting to be taken home and loved and cuddled, maybe fondled.

http://tiny.cc/D4rig

my tour dates are posted as well. i am going all over the US of A and Canada. check it out and see if i am coming to a town near you. and if i am, do buy a ticket. the tickets, just like “Maybe”, are very lonely and in need of a good, strong, pair of arms to hold them at night and treat them right.

http://tiny.cc/W7RZ4

FOR THE ASS FACE WHO STOLE MY...

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 15:58:00 -0400

FOR THE ASS FACE WHO STOLE MY SPOT

(crude language, be warned)

dear asshole,

it was a lovely day out today. the sun was warm but the breeze was cool. i felt a sense of true joy as i skipped down the street to re park my car. you see, i was in a friday spot, and tomorrow being friday, i had to move as to not get a ticket. normally i would be annoyed to have to go through this parking ritual. but because it was so beautiful outside, i was almost looking forward to it.

i got to my car and slid into the seat. it was warm, but not too warm. this was to be a good parking experience. i could feel it resonating through my bones. i live in a part of brooklyn called park slope. on sundays, you have to climb out of a sea of baby strollers and diaper bags to get to your steps, but i like it. as you can imagine, because there are so many families, parking is a rather difficult task. some days i circle for over an hour before i find a spot. but i knew today would be different. today the parking gods had cast their wise eyes down on me and my little green honda. it would be a good day.

i had been driving for about 10 minutes when i saw it - THE PERFECT SPOT. it was one block from my apartment and quietly shaded underneath a sweet little tree. i imagined there to be a family of birds building a nest and cooing and cuddling in the branches. my car would be happy here. so happy. i pulled up a few car lengths in front, put on my blinker and put the trusty little car in reverse. here in NYC, when your car is in reverse, and your blinker is on blinking in the same direction as an empty spot, it is common knowledge that you have, as a dog, metaphorically speaking, peed on that spot and that spot is now yours. so there i am, ready to pull into my perfect spot, when you, sir, come pulling up in your ugly powder blue shit-mobile. you stop right behind me, and begin to BACK UP. i felt my face flush and my pulse quicken. my white knuckled grip on the steering wheel tightened. instinctually, my palm went to the horn and hit it. “HEY! This is MY spot!” i shouted into the rear view mirror, catching your beady spot stealing eyes. you rolled down your window to further discuss. you then opened your fat sweaty mouth “how do i know that you were pulling in, look how far up you are.” you smiled a little bit, knowing full well what assholean words were pouring out of your face. so i called you out on it. “Don’t be an asshole, you KNOW i was parking there!” you then muttered something i could not make out and PULLED INTO MY SPOT. i seethed with anger. i was helpless. i drove off imagining what horrible things karma had in store for you. maybe you would get into an accident and total your car (but not be injured…otherwise i would be guilty). or perhaps you would be towed one day and have to wait for hours to get your stank ass car back. or maybe i would drag my key across the side of your door. i went so far as to write you a letter once i had parked my car (3 blocks away but 10 minutes later.)

”You are an asshole and something bad is now

going to happen to you. kharma is a bitch”

i was so angry that i misspelled “karma”.

i walked up to what i thought was your car. i thought better of it and did not place the threatening letter underneath your windshield wiper. i was not absolutely positive that the car i was standing in front of was actually yours. perhaps my anger had clouded my vision. i would hate to have some little old woman get into her car after her afternoon bird feeding session and find that note. instead, i folded my letter in two and headed home.

but i know karma to be relentless. i have felt the firey grip of her bony fingered hand. and i promise you, a bird will shit on your hotdog, or a pot hole will flatten your tire, or a squirrel with scratch your evil eyes out. one day.

it will getcha.

New Song Demo- Walk Away i was there to comfort you to tell you...

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 00:21:00 -0400

New Song Demo- Walk Away

i was there to comfort you to tell you things that were not true like love and how its always here and never goes so don’t you fear
but i really know that forevers they come and go so i hold on tight to letting go because i dont know when this, when this, love will walk away.
i am here to see us fall to see us slide right down the wall i give up and take on something new take on someone who is just like you

where have I bean? where have YOU bean?

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 03:24:14 -0400

i think that would be a good catch phrase for a cartoon talking coffee bean.

A job that I would like to have is the Namer Of Boots job. You...

Fri, 22 May 2009 14:41:57 -0400

A job that I would like to have is the Namer Of Boots job. You get to be creative, lyrically dangerous and really push boundaries. Naughty Monkey D Ring has got to be one of the BEST, no, dare I say it, THE BEST name a boot has ever had. I might just buy them because of the name alone.

Although they look kind of slutty.

Stick a fork in me, I'm done?

Sun, 03 May 2009 18:59:00 -0400

How do you know? How do you know when you are done? I wish I could be a cookie. Or spoon full of cookie dough rather. I wish there was a certain amount of time allotted to me being done, being ready. I don’t know when I will be completed. Maybe I will never be completed.

I have been on tour, in Europe, which is vastly different than being on tour in the US. The buildings have soul and the streets feel so old. Who stood on the same corner as I? Breaths away from Anne Frank’s house. What lives lost? What beauty has grown and died hundreds of times even before her? Being here pulls my body apart. It makes my heart hurt. I think about how small I am. And how incomplete. And it makes me uncontrollably sad. But, it is a sad that I am thankful to feel. It is a realization of myself and my place in this mess of beauty.

And maybe, it is ok if we are never complete. Maybe our completeness comes in the incomplete.

chocolate helps.

i am not sure what these were. if a cheese doodle had relations...

Sat, 02 May 2009 12:32:00 -0400

i am not sure what these were. if a cheese doodle had relations with peanut butter, it would yield these odd snacks. I did not like them. i ate the whole bag. oh germany.

"I like the way your arms come out of your body."

Mon, 13 Apr 2009 23:53:52 -0400

“I like the way your arms come out of your body.”

- my dad (speaking affectionately to my mother)

TWITTER SONG DOWNLOAD

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 21:50:13 -0400

TWITTER SONG DOWNLOAD:

go crazy. download away.

TWITTER SONG This is what happens when I am in a vocal booth for...

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 23:39:00 -0400

TWITTER SONG

This is what happens when I am in a vocal booth for an extended period of time. Please note, lyrics were made up on the fly so they are quite not the goodest.

Peace, Love, and Twitter.

ingrid

R.E.M.

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 22:53:00 -0400

I had the good fortune to be one of 20 artists asked to be part of the R.E.M. tribute show at Carnegie Hall two nights ago. I did “Nightswimming” armed with only a looping pedal and my friend Chris on upright bass. I love that song. It seasoned my summer of ‘93. I listened to Automatic for the People on constant rotation that summer. So when I was asked which song I wanted to do, I knew immediately.

R.E.M. was there, in the audience. I have never been so nervous in all of my life. I was trembling a good 20 minutes after I walked off stage. I felt like I had a switch on my back that was flipped onto the “vibrate” setting. The main reason why I was so scared was because I had just learned how to use a looping pedal recently and had never performed in front of people with it. I chose Carnegie Hall to be the venue to break open my looping pedal skills for the very first time. Why? Why on earth would I choose to do that? Why would I put myself through such anxiety? Because fear is to be battled. Fear is to be eaten and digested. To do something that frightens you, and to come through unscathed, even stronger, is incredibly empowering.

I looked at Chris (who was as nervous as I) and he looked at me, we both took a big breath and began. And i just sang. I closed my eyes and sang. At one point, I opened my eyes and took in the beauty and majesty of Carnegie Hall. And I thought to myself, “enjoy this Ingrid, f*cking ENJOY IT!” My voice over my voice over my voice over my voice laced with Chris’ beautiful bass lines, bowing and plucking, swirled and hung in the air. I could feel it. I could almost see it. It was a night that I will never forget. And I am thankful for it.

I hope you have the chance to pummel fear into the dirt.

Punch punch punch.

Giggly Goo and Annie

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 23:57:00 -0500

GIGGLY GOO: when i was a child, i wanted things that did not exist. actually, i still want things that do not exist. i loved the Berenstein Bears books. there was a christmas edition where it listed toys that the kid bears wanted. sister bear wanted a many things, but most intriguing to me was the moldable snot green goop called “GIGGLY GOO”. i asked my parents for it. i did not understand when they said it was not “real”…how could it not be real? it was in this book, this cartoon book right in front of me. i could make all sorts of snot sculptures and figures. endless fun. the burning desire for this ficticious slime drove me insane. i would think about it at night, lying in the bed. one year, i got some slimy squishy blob that, when squeezed into its container, would make a fart sound. it proved to provide hours of fun. even when covered in hair and dirt. but it never filled the Giggly Goo void.

ANNIE: when i was 4ish, i wanted Annie to come over and have a sleep over. again, my poor parents had to break the news that she was not “real”. it pissed me off…this “not real” thing. i just thought Annie was a bitch and did not want to come over. at one point, my parents told me the girl who played annie (what????) was probably much older than me at the present time anyway, and it would not be fun for me. this was baffling to me.

why am i plagued with this want for things that do not exist? maybe one day, 8 year old Annie will come to my door with a jar of Giggly Goo and all my dreams will come true. maybe.

I want one.

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 19:27:30 -0500

I want one.

if i were a Brats Doll…big head, tiny body.

Sun, 22 Feb 2009 22:48:56 -0500

if i were a Brats Doll…big head, tiny body.